“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch
Ever had one of those weeks where everything that happens removes one of your zones of comfort?
That’s been my week this week. My relationship, job and apartment – all my comfort zones – gone in the one week. I knew these changes were coming, the job and relationship anyway, but when I also found out my apartment was being sold and I’d have to move, that was the final straw. I felt more overwhelmed than upset, and I felt fear for the future. Everything felt out of my control, and I didn’t know how to bring it back into control, without overreacting to it.
When I stepped back to think about what these events could teach me, I realised it was something I’d known for a while: I prefer my comfort zones, even when I know I need to move out of them.
It’s a need we all have, to control. Some of us in all areas of our lives, some choose certain areas. But when you think about why we have to be in control, it is essentially a safety mechanism put in place to calm our fight or flight responses. If we aren’t comfortable trusting people, we control situations, so we don’t have to rely on other people.
The thing about control is, though, it doesn’t help you grow. It holds you in a space that eventually you have to move out of if you want something different in your life. And the reality is, if you don’t move from that comfort zone, life will force you out of it. So, how do you do this? How do you step out of your comfort zones even when you feel they’re protecting you and allowing you to move at your own pace?
I think for me it’s about trust. Trust that there’s a plan. Trust that nothing ever falls apart, but it’s actually falling more into place. Most importantly, trust that control is not always a good thing! We know that you grow the most outside of your comfort zones, but we often believe that it only happens when we have control over the process. So, where’s the line? How much do we control and how much do we push?
Consider what you’re trying to control and why, then practice letting go of that control, trusting that you’ll be ok. The best advice I have after my experience this week is: start moving out of your comfort zone on your own terms and trust there’s a bigger, better plan in place.